Is this thing on?

Hello? Anybody there?

quick life update....i live in charlotte now that is all.

I just want to thank the witty/fml/crazy people i am friends with on facebook that make it so much fun to laugh at and not with you and your status updates.


10 - UPS can't even handle the logistics we just pulled out for the MSU game - This is clearly a smart person status update because Duke plays MSU in bball sometime soon....plus who else would make a logistics joke about a basketball game? Nerds thats who.

9 - Dear ups, how in the world do you misplace one trailer let alone eight!!! - No i seriously didnt mean to have two UPS status(es?, i?, nothing?) but seriously...what can brown do for you?

8 - ‎...., ‎.... - that was two different status updates from people who do not know each other i wonder what is going on in the world that two different people felt the need to post both of those as updates.

7 - ‎6/4/11 - Dublin Jerome D2 State Lacrosse Champs 2011 book it.

6 - ...deep thought - i'm trying to decide if this was a preamble type of update that a deep thought status was coming or if the person was trying to be ironic by posting "[post deep thought here]" type of thing....jury is still out

5 - Really Liverpool, really? - everyone take time to go here http://soccernet.espn.go.com/tables/_/league/eng.1/english-premier-league then point and laugh at Liverpool FC being below Newcastle FC in the table....Come On You Toon!

4 - coffman at 11! - this comment is only on here because it was commented on by another players mom about getting fired up...only to have that player come on and tell his mom to "hush". I have never known any mom to comment about getting fired up via facebook and i have also never known anyone to tell their mom to "hush" publicly

3 - wow - so just got off work ... been there since 5 ... got stiffed by TWO different tables ... now i'm at my apartment all by myself. EFF TONIGHT - i think this could make some noise on the fml site....for the record this was posted at midnight for those wondering how long it had been since this person had 'been there since 5'

2 - who wins in a fight a grizzly bear or a gorilla? - a GREAT question and one in which i have no answer.

1 - Seven years in a row feels good - Go Bucks.

its been a while but it was fun to check out some of the status updates....once again these are in no particular order or rank just the top ten that caught my eye recently

hasta lasagna

Do not adjust your set...this is a blog post

So its been about 4 score and 12 fortnights since i posted last but thats neither here nor there....

Lets get down to brass tacks you only want to read the status updates and could care less what witty comment i may or may not have for them....

Anywho i've exhausted all of the not so clever cliches that have crawled through my head since i started posting...

so here we go in no particular order

10 (a)- ¡sǝʇɐɯ 'ʎɐp ɐılɐɹʇsnɐ ʎddɐɥ.... So i'm not really how he did it but thats impressive and thats why it makes an appearance on the list

10 (b) - 地球で一番大切な人の地球で一番大切な人になれた俺は地球で一番] So i'm also not sure how they did this one either...thats why there are dos for number zehn (did you see what i did there...just adding more to the international flair)

9 - Jerome soccer 2010 let's go...you can say what you want about this not being very deep or funny or whatever but hey its my blog and i happen to coach said Jerome Soccer team, this team is going to be special next year...so what Gahanna returns the state player of the year and a couple other guys from an undefeated and 4th overall national ranking...they're not ready for the celts. Party starts 8/28/10 yeah celts

8 - double baconator and chipotle today. gonna need to get that rec pass tomorrow.....props to this man for eating the double baconator and a chipotle today...i have always wanted to conquer the baconator but also want to live to see myself get married, have kids, browns win a super bowl etc so i've never attempted it

7 - michigan sucks....it's 10:26 on january 25th and michigan still sucks that is all

6 - My pack of starbursts was severly skewed to the orange and yellow ones :(...nothing worse than getting a pack of starbursts and having a large amounts of yellows. I knew someone once that tried to train themselves into liking yellow starbursts based on the fact that people are always trying to get rid of them....i could never do that i mean sure i coud train myself to like

5 - just shattered her full-length mirror. Fail!...this one is funny based on the fact that the girl is pretty short and one of the comments asked if it was in fact only a half length mirror or if the bad luck is doubled now since it was a full-length mirror.

4 - people making out at Cici's thats cool...after reading the comments it was in fact the two people closing Cici's after it was closed...i may never eat there again (i cannot in fact back this statement of never going back there up but it sounds cooler if i say i won't)

3 - 6th period: student - "happy birthday, mrs. enyart!" me - "its not my birthday" student - "well when is it?" me - "february 30th" student - "oh! ok, i'll get you something then" 7th period: me - *making fun of student from 6th period* student #2 - "what about leap years?" me - *at a loss* .....my faith in the future of america is completely shattered...i think we're getting closer and closer to the movie Idiocracy happening

2 - suddenly understand why human have to die in some point....part of me wants to know the answer...the other 73% wants to stay in the dark

1 - Favorite quote of the year. From my 5 year old nephew: "I'm not going to spank my kids, I'm going to slap them in the face. "....i hope my 5 year old reacts the same way, also is it bad that my parental philosophy is the same of said 5 year old?

so there they are...a few random status updates that made me laugh when i came across them throughout the past week....

no promises on the next update or if i'll actually write something other than status updates

when boredom strikes

I honestly sat down to blog for the first time since 'Nam but nothing happened for a solid 10 minutes.....

brief recaps of things ive done this summer

- road tripped to Charlotte...This was a man weekend filled with croquet, golf, wiffle ball, a fantasy football draft and overall dude things at a lake house that looked like it could have been the set for "i know what you did last summer". That may be the record for worlds longest run on sentence but i feel like punctuation doesnt matter on blogs...mostly cause i'm not turning this in for a grade and also because its on the internet

- went to cincy to eat deep fried foods with friends....The cooks invited me down and i obliged and we ate all kinds of things that are terrible for you.....the list that i can remember.....oatmeal creme pie, strawberry marshmellow, strawberry pop tart (my personal favorite), oreo, pizza, hush puppies, corn dogs, pineapple (a close 2nd to the pop tart), twinkie, fun size twix, swiss cake roll. The fun that is deep frying things ended around 9 and then Cook and i played The Show on ps3 till 1:30 before bed...yep we're 13 years old.

- jazz and rib fest in downtown columbus... The Woerths invited me to go down the the J&RF (thats what the insiders call it) and it was the perfect combination of good food, good music and great people watching...We put up shop in the middle of a big grass field with those collapsable chairs that nobody really knows the name of but are a staple of any outdoor summer activity. We had already had a half rack of ribs and now were munching on imitation blizzards and people watching...one couple, complete with jackets tied around their waste but not covering their fanny packs, walked and danced around for 30 minutes or so while other people relaxed in chairs the man on stage sang about how his wife was a whiskey drinker and that none of viagra, ciallis or whatever else is on the market was helping him. Interesting fellow this man...i'd ballpark him at 60 years old and black so i trusted whatever he had to say about Jazz music.

- Jerome soccer has started...they've had their "hell week" of conditioning and actual two-a-days/tryouts start tomorrow so we'll see how that goes. I'll be coaching JV-A this year and i'm sure more will be blogged about this later.


I really wish i had more time to get into details but that will come later

stay tuned for a facebook status update post coming soon

more to come at 11

Where to start? In the past two weeks i have attended two of the best people watching sporting events known to mankind. Last week i drove with 4 other guys from Athens, OH to Connecticut to go into New York City for the NFL Draft and this past weekend i went to Louisville, KY to attend to Kentucky Derby at Churchill Downs.

I don't really know where to start in terms of capturing ridiculous moments from either of these events. I will try my best to get them down onto ...well what would be pen to paper but is more finger to keyboard....this blog.

I've tried to think of a teaser from each weekend to keep the one to two people that read this blog to comeback or wait in eager expectation for the story to be revealed but I'm striking out on what exactly could fill that role. So i sat here for 6 minutes couldn't think of anything that was a quick tease...so i hope you will just come back and read the updates anyway

free credit report dot com....tell your friends tell your dad tell your mom

The one thing i can do consistently on here is update facebook statuses...so here we are for Round 3? of updates

in no particular order

10 - me: alright..i'm leaving......tom: ok give me a hug. ::i lean over to give him a hug:: tom: (not hugging me back)...NOSE GOES!!!! me: what!? to...? ......tom: go to class hehehehehe .....me: bitch. ....In class all day..text*. (what?...i don't even know what happened in that status update and finally a person that uses the 3 period spaces more than i do...)

9 - Detroit is by far the worst city in the US. Highlights from the D: 1) Huge casino donation 2) Jumped/Robbed 3) Nyall jumped and put in the hospital 4) Blue Jackets didnt even show up 5) Only place youll see Dont Pass bets. (as if we needed a reason to hate "The D" more....and they don't even mention the 0-16 Lions!)

8 - So my car won't start....and I have a midterm at 12:00....Awesome. (That update was written at 11:42. Note to the person who wrote this maybe you should be walking to class instead of complaining via facebook)

7 - all we need is a bag of weed to keep us worry free. =] happy 4twenty. (One of many 420 messages that were left today...this one had this comment left "you dont even smoke. weirdo"...well done i would also like to say this one is related to me)

6 - has oficially been injured by a 7 year old who is unable to control his body...waiting for my mom to bring some meds until Cassie can take me to the doctor! (way to go...way to be 26 years old and get beaten up by a 7 year old. Thankfully this was a girl and not a dude)

5 - will have you weighing polar bear feces for ridiculous experiments. (i really hope this is a lyric to a song but odds are it's not....)

4 - 4/20. hitler's birthday. columbine shootings. start of the french revolutionary wars. ludlow massacre. death of bram stoker. etc. luckily, we can forgot these macabre events by becoming increasingly hungry, lazy & forgetful. don't think i forgot all you non-smokers out there: jews were granted religious freedom in what is now nyc. yep. that's all i got. hope you have a stellar pseudo-holiday folks. (another 420 update but this one had too much good stuff to pass up)

3 - wishes that zombies attacked, just to spice things up.. (you know what...i do as well....who wouldn't love it if zombies attacked)

2 - is not celebrating 4/20 because he doesn't wanna have to take off like 100 shirts just to get free..(hate to have another 420 one on here but that is too good to pass up....leaves so many questions that need answers)

1 - Just left REI garage sale. Picked up a 6-man sea kayak, a sleeping bag rated to. -120. And an ultralight dogsled. Great gear (That sounds like it would great gear ya know if you were Bear Grylls or survivor man but last time i checked you lived in Chicago and have an apt...so it all seems kinda useless)


editors note: My roommate was going to have a status update on here but he was complaining that i was taking forever to update this...its not my fault i was watching Southland and trying to update at the same time. He also broke the tv in our room so there's really no room for him to talk....note to Joshua rain + electronics = bad

randomness at its best

- i was watching the msu/unc game last night with Greg and Josh after club and i came to the realization that tyler hansbrough looks exactly like the freshman qb from the tv show friday night lights (jd mccoy)...last episode i saw JD got beat up by his dad after choosing a girl over practice (stop it...stop all of your Iverson practice jokes right now...) but still winning a game to take them to the state playoffs. I wonder if Tyler ever got beat up by his dad? Makes you wonder if thats why it looks like hes always going to cry?

- Jerome got a new girl leader on Sunday her name is Cristie. She is from Hudson,Oh and a freshman at OSU. She is a stud and is going to do great things i just know it. Last night was her first club and she just hopped right in talking to girls about whatever it is girls talk about (sources say chocolate, boys, high school musical 3 and being artsy but I'm not sure). I think she has more numbers from kids at club in one night than i have in 3 years. Whats really cool is that she shadowed at Jerome in the winter and i think we all fell in love with her. She was definitely my favorite first year girl and i am really excited she is on our team.

- Tonight i venture into the world of intramural hockey at the Ohio State University. I am curious to see what happens as i haven't played ice hockey in Lord knows how long but it is a beginner league. I am on a team named Silver Seven with six other YL leaders (there are other people on our team but it is clearly not coincidence that there are 7 leaders on a team named the Silver Seven). The only problem is that i do not have a hockey stick so once this post is done i am off to a hockey store in columbus to pick one up and get the skates sharpened. I hope to keep the 5 people who read this up to date on what happens with this hockey team as we try and match the Jackets and make the playoffs and storm our way to the top of the mountain....who cares that they get their name on the Stanley Cup...we get t-shirts!

off i go...its almost game time (tuesdays at 10:30 pm @ OSU Ice Rink if any of you are feeling supportive in nature)

song of the day - Kingdom Come by Coldplay

times you won't remember with fRiEnDs you'll never forget!!!1

back after popular (ok 1 person asked and that was enough for me) demand....its facebook status update time

in no particular order from the interwebz friends of turk555 and anpan9

10 - Cigarettes, coffee, studying, and hiding from the world. Feel free to facebook f*** my wall about why any of you think you deserve to know me. (so much hate and anger in one post...facebook f my wall? honestly?)

9 - has been even more ingenious, turning my vespa into a Mississippi-style paddle steamer. (this plan will fail if you don't live on the Mississippi sir)

8 - class at 10 30...lick my balls...day 2 for frank. (day 2 of what? class? poor frank)

7 - The Big Ten should be officially called the "Good at coming in Second Ten" (its funny/sad cause its true...at least we got a runner up trophy! wait do they even give out runner up trophies in college?)

6 - had no clue that the saved by the bell (middle school years) took place in indiana, not california (thank you for ruining my childhood tv memories man....seriously this shook me to my core and it wasn't even 10 am yet)

5 - had fun in the sun with the fam today, a good elders meeting tonight, is glad the Mariners won their opener (it will be a long season), and is looking forward to 24 with Grace (sorry Mark...even pastors can't create lists....we thought you were better than that)

4 - things i am not okay with: 1) snow on the ground on april 7th. ruin my liiiiiife!!!!! (if i could add to your list young lady....#2 - figure out what the word plural means)

3 - is feeling oh so very gay. (i have no comment)

2 - has got his fingers crossed for a One Shining Moment appearance (maybe next year Shark)

1 - tear drops on my face like its my party; and if its my party so I can cry if I want to.. (don't even know where to start with this one....maybe the tears got in the way of her making sense organ) EDIT: i have since been told this came from a dude...even better.....i think i have my winner

there you have it...not our best work but still some winners in the bunch

leave a comment...pick a winner....submit your own...do whatever it is your little hearts desire